Monday Morning

3 Good things that happened on Saturday:
1. Went to Dailey Method with Betsy
2. Spent the afternoon with Kevin and went to Church
3. Kevin and I went to Sapori Trattoria and secured the date for our rehearsal dinner. 

3 Good Things 4/5

1. Went to happy hour with Annie. Hadn't seen her in almost 2 months, had good conversations and was super fun seeing her. 
2. Had good conversation with Ryan at Turner. Said he thought the Marketing role was still mine if I wanted it. Doesn't know how long freeze will last... also said he wouldn't let me be an SA forever. 
3. Get to hangout with Kevin tonight. He's working and I'm writing on the blog.  Thinking about our future. I know it will be a big year. 

Last Night - 4/4

Last night was a good night... 

1. Had a good conversation with my mom

2. Had a really good conversation with my dad... he told me about his career and that things will work out and how it was scary/an adventure when he and my mom packed up and moved to Denver. 

3. Went to Tarascas with Kevin. Had really good conversations about our future. 

LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH!

3 Good Things

Mom always made me tell her 3 good things that happened that day, when I was going to bed....

It's only 4:15pm today, but here are my things..

1. I got coffee with Cara Turner today - talked about marketing and the industry. 
2. I reached out to Britany with Opera to get coffee soon.
3. I started this blog. 


Good things in my life right now:

1. Getting married to the love of my life in less than 6 months. 
2. I HAVE a job.
3. I have a family that loves me - my mom is coming into town this month. 
4. Having fun planning a wedding 
5. I have great friends who support me and will be in my wedding. 
6. Have a great apartment in a great location with awesome view. 
7. Exciting time with lots of potential for opportunities - we may move to another city, stay in Chicago, do something different. 
8. Able to take awesome trips - Europe last yr and Bora Bora this year. 
9. Received really positive feedback when I have interviewed.
10. Have enough saved to go out to eat, do fun outings, take trips, etc. 

Getting Ahead

It feels like everyone else is getting ahead in their careers... and I'm stuck behind.  

The Start

4.3.14

I'm starting this journal, as a way to reflect back on the times in my life when I haven't been as happy or fulfilled as I'd like to be.  I have been depressed and anxious so much the past 4 months, that I need to take the time out of my day, to remind myself of all of the good and positive things I have in my life - and to remember that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, and things will be ok. 

Background:
- 27 yrs old
- Engaged to Kevin
- Living in Chicago for 6yrs
- Work at Turner Broadcasting for 1yr 3 months (Sales Assistant)

Most of my unhappiness and anxiety stems from my job... I feel like I am the low man on the totem pole (I am at Turner) and I am so anxious to move up.  I have been interviewing several places from Jan-March, and I am hoping that these opportunities continue.  

I haven't had an interview in several weeks, and I am reaching out to recruiters, scouring LinkedIn, reaching out to connections and applying to jobs. I'm fearful that I won't find another position and that I'll be stuck in this role for a long time.  The rational part of me knows that isn't true.  Things will work out - I will find a good opportunity - I just have to be patient. 

I have had such negative thoughts lately - feelings of desperation, hopelessness, anxiety - mostly about my job and career.  I definitely made a conscious decision to enter into the industry and make a shift in my career but I feel very undervalued/low about myself... I KNOW I can be doing more (I used to be doing more) and am afraid I made a bad decision for my life. 

The rational side of me says a few things:
1. You will move up in your career
2. You won't be a lower-level assistant forever
3. The right opportunity will come along
4. The other positions didn't work out for a reason
5. Everything will be ok

I find myself needing to remember all of those things, frequently.  I get knots in my stomach, my mind starts wandering to all sorts of worst case scenario situations. I DONT want to live like this anymore!